Ponderings

This past weekend, Michael allowed me to go to a counseling conference Friday night and Saturday morning at Clearcreek Chapel near Dayton, OH.  He did a great job taking care of Jeremiah, Grandma Lyons only helped him a little on Sat. morning.  I had a wonderful time getting to know better a few really neat couples at our church.  Lou Priolo was the speaker and it was encouraging to my heart to ponder some of the different topics he talked about- crippling fear, jealousy, envy, rash judgments and contentment. 

A few memorable things I walked away with from the conference:
*  Lou said that often in reformed circles, we often know and rely on the Sovereignty of God- but often it is the goodness of God that we question in times of fear, worry and anxiety.  I realized in my own heart, when I am struggling with fear or worry, often I am not trusting and relying on the Lord's goodness- oh I know He is in control of all things but I do not think upon the fact that He is good and His good for me is where He has placed me right now no matter what the circumstance.  Fear is sinful when it proceeds out of unbelief or distrust in God.
*  The second thing I took away with from the weekend was thinking about love vs. self.  He noted that fear is sinful when it is rooted in selfishness rather than love.  Love is giving, selfishness is taking.  I realized that one commonality of all sins is that is focused on self (me) and not loving another person.  What will happen if "I" loose my child or husband?  (fear)  Why can't "I" have a house right now? (jealousy)  When will "I" be able to have another child?  (contentment)  All these things focus on "ME" and keep me from loving my God and others selflessly.  All these things are a misplaced desire- I am desiring something ABOVE desiring God!  My prayer is that I would desire Christ above all else!
1 Corinthians 13:4-7-   Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
*  The third thing I have been thinking about lately is how sin can so easily take root in one's life.  John Owen's statement is true- "Be killing sin or it will be killing you."  Michael and I lately have had a wake up call in our marriage and own lives of the importance of killing sin and praying that God would keep us from temptation.  A week ago, we visited some friends dealing with the serious effect of sin that has damaged their family severely.  This has been a wake up call in our own lives to pray that God would be our focus and our love and that He would keep us from giving in to sin and not obeying Him.  I have realized again how Satan loves to prowl like a roaring lion seeking to devour esp. believers and their marriages.  It is a reminder to me to be sober, watchful and alert!  As much as we might think how could sin harden believing couples, we know it could happen to us if we are not submitting to the authority of the gospel and being alert and watchful.  And so my prayer lately- "O God, keep me reveling in the gospel and obedient and submissive to Your Word!"  I have been comforted in reading Psalm 139 that the Lord sees my friend and knows all of our ways.  The Lord is still on the throne and in control!