Learning to Love!

 So how is Jeremiah doing as a big brother?  Well, most days he is doing ok and really I think deep down loves his little sister but this week we are hitting some rough waters.  This week is my first "official" week on my own and it has been challenging.  Jeremiah had a fever this weekend and began the week a very whiny, needy little boy.  Yesterday, after a whiny morning, he laid in his crib for 2 1/2 hours and would not sleep just whined.  As I laid on the couch trying to rest- I was struggling with anger as I was craving sleep and quiet much more than I was desiring for the Lord to grant me patience and perseverance and love at that moment.  I have to remember in these season when I can barely pull myself out of bed at 2 or 3am- that sleep is not what I desire or value the most- it is a privilege not a right for many mommies in these young years.  Jeremiah is clinging to the things that are his- he wants "His" changing table if I change Lydia on it- though he hates to be changed.  He claims her toys as his own.  And I think lately when I am nursing her- he is secretly trying to win my attention and telling me through his whiny voice- drop the baby and play with me.  So I think we are both learning to love- Jeremiah learning to love a baby that has invaded his little me- centered home and I am learning to love a whiny boy who has not looked too pretty lately and praying for God's grace and patience along the way and too trying to extend grace to us both as well realizing this a tiring time and a transition time for our whole family.