June 30...

Some days are always etched into our memories...  This is one of them- 5 years ago- we were expecting our first child around Christmas and had gone on a cruise with my parents.  On June 30- I went into the doctor for a routine visit and found the baby's heart had stopped beating and that this little one had stopped growing.  I was devastated- tears flowed freely.  Three days later I went in for a D & C on July 3.  It was one of the first real trials our little family had faced.  God sustained us through that time and the time of waiting that followed for God to give us a child.  He taught me a lot about my heart and what I desired or idolized ABOVE HIM during that time- namely a child- I wanted a child so bad- I didn't want to wait- I wanted it at my time and in my place.  A chapter in John Piper's book- Battling Unbelief- encouraged me so much- The Unbelief of Impatience... God used it to cut to my heart and reveal my idol of control and my heart's desire of wanting a child above Him!  I know there will be more seasons of waiting but so thankful that God is continually using these moments to make us trust in Him and put our hope in Him!