Motherhood...

For the last few months, I would say I have been having a crisis of motherhood.  This may be like a woman's mid-life crisis- I don't know.  God has been revealing to me and shaking my foundation of what I believe at the core about my role as a motherhood.  At times, it seems too hard; I feel like a failure; I don't feel fulfilled or content; I long for something more.  I want to change the world.  In fact, often I think- how can changing diapers, doing dishes (5 times a day), making lunch, cleaning up lunch- how can all of this be important.  At the root- I am not seeing this of value- I am believing the lies of this world even in ministry.  And yet, God has been so kind to reveal to me the unbelief in my own heart of this God ordained role.  I went to a conference with Michael last week on Gender, Marriage, Roles.  I really felt like the Lord used it to speak directly to me revealing some unbelief in my heart.  One of the speakers said- life is all about perspective and it helped me confront the failings of much of my own perspective.  God has been shaking me and helping me see that I don't value and see my role as kingdom work.  I want to change the world- when the world is right at my finger tips.  I just wanted to share some things I learned from the speakers at this conference- a few notes from two of the sessions.

GraceAnna Castleberry- Count it Pure Joy:  A Generation Returning to Motherhood

1.       Embracing motherhood brings gain to my children.   I often have found in this journey of motherhood, that I want to run, escape, go for a walk, or take a break from my kids.  I think things like- why is this motherhood things so hard?  How can I keep going?  I don’t’ see much reward?  I some days don’t’ feel fulfilled or encouraged at all in this role?  Yet, it is not in running away but toward that I am to embrace all that God has for me and has to teach me in sanctifying me through this God-ordained role.  It is often easy for us to think of our children as cute extensions of ourselves.  Scriptures says, they are like arrows in the hand of a warrior.  I was realizing that as much as I love my kids, I do often view them as burdens to my day, interrupters of my precious time and order of my space.  Yet, I realized that they only become a burden when I do not view them from God’s perspective.  Motherhood does require daily sacrifice yet Christ called us to die to self, take up our cross daily to follow Him.  Our children are not just in the way of something better or something we like to do better- they are our highest calling.  I must see them as the “gifts” they are and not the burden to my time or priorities.

2.      Embracing motherhood helps your husband.  The speaker said strong men need strong women.  By embracing this calling in Scripture, we free our husband up to love and serve by being the extension of his ministry.  How can we persevere in joy in motherhood when it seems hard?  Whoever finds life will lose it.  In the losing, we gain Christ.  Motherhood changes and sanctifies us, we turn from sin and selfishness and look to Christ. 

3.      We must see that motherhood is gain for God’s Kingdom and embrace this calling.  Jesus loved and embraced the little children- Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven. (Mat. 19:14)

 Mary Mohler-  Workers at Home:  The Temptation to be “Mom Plus”

Mary Mohler shared about the priority of mothers and wives to be at home.  Our jobs often seem mundane and Satan loves to throw this thought in our faces a lot.  Titus 2 mentions the job of the older women are to teach and train the younger women how to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be reviled. 

By being at home, working hard to love our children and husbands well- we are adorning, lifting up, exalting the gospel of God’s grace.  We are advancing the gospel.  Mary Mohler called us as women to tune out the voices of culture that tell us we are not fulfilled when we are a mom, we are not using our gifts, we are not enough.  We must embrace this God given role- no motherhood “plus”, motherhood period.  Some women feel the tension more than others in wanting to use their giftedness outside the home.  I admit- I have struggled with this in the context not of a job but in lofty ministry dreams, things I would love to do to serve in the church, reach out to others- all good things that can become demands and idols.  Mrs. Mohler said think of what that says to your children if you say- well I love taking care of you but I feel more fulfilled when I am doing this or in this role at work.  We need to put our egos aside and give ourselves to our kids.  I love Jim Elliot’s quote-  “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”  Mary Mohler challenged me to think of ways that we can use our gifts in our home for this season- continue your unique work ethic in your home and to think about how you can use your unique gifts with your kids.  In taking many Seminary Wives classes with Mary Mohler, I really think she did this well.  She would always show us her calendar and elaborate chart of the grocery store but she was using her organizational gifts to help in the home.  I pray that I would think about some of the things I am gifted and enjoy and think through how I can better manage my home and serve my family.  She also encouraged us to be a friend- look for mom’s struggling and help them along this journey.  She concluded by saying, Motherhood is a high calling- we are pointing our children to love and value Christ above anything or anyone.  “Be a mom.  to the glory of God alone so the Word of God may not be reviled.”